Chocolate, 30 Rock, and a few tears

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“Go to her” my sweet husband prompted. After making me dinner, he had one more trick up his sleeve. The best medicine I could ask for right now is my dear friend/soul mate Liz Lemon on my favorite show "30 Rock." We have kept ourselves busy enough to avoid thinking about it for most of the night, but neither of us is ready to mourn that loss yet. Liz is the key. At least for tonight. 

After 3 weeks of pain and doctors visits, I was told today that for the second time in the past year I have another infection that will likely prevent me from having children. I am not writing this to gain sympathy or get all TMI on the world. I just want to say it once, and be done with it.  It is really hard to keep telling the same sad story with a stone face and an uncomfortable joke (Insert uncomfortable reference to my inability to keep a plant alive here). I will have to tell hundreds of people over the next few decades that I don’t have kids, and may never. If I can skip a few rounds of that, I will be a happy girl.

There are so many women in my life who are in a similar situation, so I’d also like to share some tips on being sensitive to women with reproductive issues (I am ever the therapist).

• Don’t say “it will happen someday” or “the lord will bless you.” It may never happen, and he may never bless you in that way.

•   Don’t start every first conversation with “How long have you been married? Do you have children? Why not?” I am cool with friends asking my “why not?” but DUDE! Buy me dinner first!

•   Don’t be offended when we just can’t see another baby photo or don’t respond to your cheerful text message announcing you are pregnant.
• Don’t stop sharing your life with your friends and family because you are worried about hurting our un-mommy feelings. We may feel pangs of jealousy and curse you for getting pregnant by surprise, exactly when you wanted to, or simply before us. It will pass, and we will be genuinely happy for you when we are ready to.
•  Don’t say you’re sorry for us, and try not to bring it up. We need love and friendship, not pity and reminders that life is hard.

My life is full, and blessed. It will take time, but Christopher and I will be ok. We are already planning the next trip, and browsing dog rescues. I will be hanging out with my pal Liz Lemon, eating plenty of chocolate, and disengaging from social media until I can handle the baby-filled world we live in. I am so glad my husband gets me so completely.

            

 P.S. Christopher promises he will "END YOU" if you bring up babies. Watch your backs suckas!