A little vision

Numb. The sting of awful news had subsided, leaving me numb, cold, and tired. My sweetheart would do his best to bring up all the medical and family drama, only to hear an icy and superficial muttering. After days curled up on the couch or in bed, I began shaking off the pain of the pills taken, and the pain caused by the disease they treated. As I  started getting my energy back, I was grateful for a weekend with my husband at home.

The night of our first date, almost six years ago, we spend 4 or 5 hours walking around Salt Lake City, just talking and enjoying the company of a new friend. Talking is what we have always been so natural at with each other, once we stopped trying to play it cool. For me, this last weekend felt so much like that first date. It was just what I needed to reconnect with my love, and to remember our family of two.

Friday night, we walked around downtown together and bought a couple cokes. Saturday we did grocery shopping with Hayley and Weston's son in tow, and then stayed up all night just talking. Sunday we slept in until noon, and spent the evening making a vision board. Since we are both such planners, it was really nice getting so many of our goals down in one place. There is so much we want to accomplish, and so many places we want to go. Babies will happen somehow, sometime, either biologically or not. Kids are just one part of the picture, and I have lots of them in my life now!

It is still difficult to be positive right now, but I am no longer numb to it, and I am so grateful for the family I have.