Ice Cream Is Self Care

If I ever wrote a book about being a therapist, I am pretty sure the title would be "Ice Cream is Self Care: Buy a treadmill fatty."  For those dear readers who are not therapists, self care is the time therapists take to shake off all that we hear each day. Self care is the rituals we have to unwind and allow  the problems of others to roll of of us at the end of the day. The therapists that go nuts and hate their jobs are typically the ones who don't tend to themselves. Today is an ice cream sort of day.

I love what I do. I am such a nerd for therapy. I am constantly reading articles, watching classic therapists, and doing my best to be a better therapist for my clients. Today was a tough one though. It wasn't so much the clients, it was more about life outside of therapy and learning how to shake it all off at the end of the day. 

The hardest part of being a counselor is being surrounded by divorce, pain, and strife. When recovering from surgery and a move, it was harder to be in that pain, in and out of session. When you find out a friend is going through a divorce 5 minutes before session, and before your next session you hear your beloved hard drive is dead, and then meet a couple that you know will help you grow, how do you wash it all off? ICE CREAM.

After such a hard day, I am so happy to come home to my sweet Christopher roasting brussle sprouts and green beans in balsamic vinegar. We watched a hilarious stand up, ate ice cream/ vegan mousse, and held each other. I can't tell him much about my day, just that it was hard. Ice cream and my husband makes it better.

Today was hard, but coming home reminded me why I do what I do. Marriage can be tough, but it is usually worth saving. Divorce is right for some couples, but for most couples it doesn't make life better, it just makes it harder. You have to fight as if your life depends on it to save your marriage before you can let go of all those hopes and dreams, and no one should have to do that alone. If I can help a couple to create a better marriage for themselves, it would make it all worth it. I have needed help to be who i am today, and I love helping others live better. I just need my husband and some ice cream to do it.

An Ode to my Husband

At three in the morning, you convince me to finally go to sleep in our bed, vowing to help me at any moment. You were so tired, but so worried. You wish to hold me, yet you fear touching me for you may graze the cuts in my belly. Hours later, you leap to your feet to gather my pills, yogurt, water, and ice packs. Pulling me out of bed and walking me to the restroom,  you smile and tease as always. Every few hours, you force me to get up and walk, just as the doctor told you to. As I wince, so do you.

In the evening, you pack up the apartment, clean, and prepare. Stopping here and there to feed me and be sure I am walking around. You rub my sore back, shoulders, and feet.

I am your fragile wife, and you are my everything.

My scars will fade, but the memory of you serving me so tenderly will remain. When I doubt, you remind me. When I worry, you assure me. When I cry, you hold me. We never wanted any of this, but you are right here with me. Gently, you hold me steady. We move forward together.

It's ten o'clock. You bring my pills again.

I love you.